


Zombie Mountain Lions & Why You Should Work Out

by Nosiddam1



Series: The life of the irresistibly oblivious Stiles [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gym AU, Irresistible Stiles is irresistible, M/M, POV Danny Mahealani, POV Multiple, POV Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nosiddam1/pseuds/Nosiddam1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles suckers Danny into coming to the gym with him because he's sick of people staring at him in the gym because he's clearly out of his depths. (Obv that's why they're staring)</p><p>Also because I think the “Am I attractive to gay guys” moment deserves a revisit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombie Mountain Lions & Why You Should Work Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pantyology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantyology/gifts).



> Man I don't even know what I'm doing with fic names anymore

***

 

“Danny pleeeeeeease,” Stiles whines, “You’re literally the only human I know that goes to the gym. Come on, help a bro out.”

Danny sighs, refusing to look up from his textbook, knowing that as soon as he meets Stiles’ gaze he’s as good as shaking his ass in a zumba class. “No,” he answers shortly.

“Danny please,” Stiles begs, “You’ve got no idea what it’s like for me. You’re all buff and hot and everybody loves you, and no one will pay attention to me since they can to drool over you, and honestly man, it’ll just be a pure ego boost for you so there’s no losing here. All you gotta do is show me how to use all the machines, and then people can stop giving me pitying looks and constantly offering to help me.”

Danny makes the mistake of looking up and Stiles takes advantage, smiling beguilingly, “Danny _please_ , I’m hopeless with this stuff and the next time a zombie mountain lion chases after me I want at least a _chance_ of defending myself.”

Well fuck, how do you argue with _that_?

 

***

 

Amber catches a glimpse of “Please call me Stiles” Stilinski as he walks past the windows of the gym and quickly makes her way over the sign in counter. Making eye contact with him she smiles as he opens the door. “Good morning Stiles,” she greets cheerfully.

“ _Great_ morning Amber,” he corrects, handing over two passes to be swiped, “I’ve finally bullied my man Danny here into coming with me so now you won’t all have to waste your time running around showing me how to work everything.” While he’s talking he gestures to the guy he’d walked in with that she hadn’t noticed. Damn. He’s attractive. Not quite at Stiles’ level because he has the cute/hot thing going for him that _really_ works, but Stiles’ _man_ seems nice.

“Oh, it’s really no trouble,” she hears herself offering politely, as she hands back the passes, “Just give me a holler if you and your boyfriend need any help.” _Or a threesome_ , she adds in her head.

“What?” Stiles’ laughs, “Oh _Danny_ isn’t my boyfriend. But I will take the compliment that you think I could land him.”  Grabbing onto the strap of Danny’s duffel he starts towing him towards the change rooms, walking backwards as he wiggles his eyes at his (thank god) friend, “Come on honey bunch!”

“I am not gonna survive this,” Amber hears Danny mutter. She’s familiar with the sentiment.

 

***

 

“Is it just me, or you always worried someone’s gonna break out Independence Day quotes when you’re in a locker room?” Stiles asks musingly.

“Definitely you,” Danny snorts.

 

***

 

**Chris, come to the gym ASAP!**

**Dude, what part of day OFF do you not get??**

**My legs are dead anyway after yesterday**

**The cute twink from last week before is back**

**He’s on the cross trainer in front of me**

**His ass is literally RIGHT THERE**

**OMW**

 

***

 

“Daaaaaanny,” Stiles whines, and _wow_ is he regretting this already, because Stiles’ face is sweetly flushed and the way he’s panting his name right now is down right _obscene_ and he’s definitely not thinking friendly thoughts and they’re only _seven minutes_ into their work out. “I am _dying_ , why am I on level 8?”

“Zombie mountain lions,” is all he can come up with, and he’s definitely starting to understand why Derek is normally so laconic.

 

***

 

Danny (the traitor) has already abandoned Stiles on the Cross Trainer to go grab some water and they’re only eleven minutes into the workout. Then again, considering his general level of sweatiness, maybe Danny has the right idea. The only thing stopping Stiles from taking a (well earned) ten-minute break is the fact that those zombie lions were _fast_. Sighing heavily, he resolves to stay on the machine until Danny is done drinking and speeds up a little.

Working out sucks. How does Danny make it look so effortless?

 

***

 

Deciding to try her chances again since Stiles’ _friend_ has taken up a spot awkwardly near the water fountain, Amber makes her way around towards the cardio equipment, offering hot towels as she goes. And if she happens to miss a few people on her way, it’s simply because Stiles’ looks like he could use few friendly words of encouragement.

“How you doing, hot stuff?” She calls out as she comes closer, “I come bearing hot towels.”

“I definitely don’t need help heating up,” Stiles answers, “But I will take one so I can pretend I know what I’m doing here.”

Taking a towel from her, Stiles rubs at his face and Amber is struck dumb by the display he puts on, not sure if this is the best or worst decision of her life, because she has a perfect view of his profile, with his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted and the moan he just let out is _completely_ pornographic.

Deciding to make her escape while he’s distracted and before she can start off a sexual harassment case, Amber heads over to the water fountain, deciding to take the safety that’s offered in the number of people that are standing there staring at Stiles.

She takes a small amount of comfort in knowing she’s not the only one affected.

 

***

 

“Danny,” Stiles pants when his friend finally comes back from the water fountain, “Dude, I am _dying_ , is forty minutes enough on this machine?”

“Yeah man, sorry, forty is plenty. Nice stamina,” he compliments.

Stiles snorts, “I can’t decide if I should go with a that’s what she said joke or if I should flutter my eyelashes and call you a flatterer.”

“That’s what she said,” Danny responds instantly, “I wouldn’t survive your fluttering.”

“Rude,” Stiles admonishes, “My eyelash fluttering is the _bomb_.”

“I know,” Danny mutters darkly.

 

***

 

Eliot groans as the cute twink finally finishes up on the Cross Trainer and watches him make his way over to the weights area. He hasn’t taken his treadmill above 5.5 the whole time he was behind the guy; worried he’d end up slipping off in a pile of drool.

Then again, that would probably have gained his attention, so if Chris doesn’t turn up soon he might just have to take matters into his own hands and stage a fall to gather some attention and (with hope) some sympathy and a phone number. Thankfully before he can decide on how to fall attractively, he finally sees Chris finally come through the door. Judging by his hair and ‘workout’ clothes (honestly, he’s in danger of busting out of that shirt any second now) he has clearly spent the majority of the last half hour in front of a mirror.

Arching an eyebrow he asks (at a totally _normal_ level so you can lower the judgemental eyebrows thank you Eliot) “Wanna spot me while I bench 200?”

***

 

Stiles is alone in the weights section because Danny has left him _again_ , this time to go the bathroom, obviously because he spent half a freaking hour taking a water break.

Next time he’s bringing Erica with him. Yes she delights in showing him up but at least he doesn’t have to deal with people constantly staring at him because despite her recent hot girl transformation she hates it and gets all growly when people stare at her when she works out.

Obviously he’s looking as out of his depths as he’s feels (and really it’s anyone’s guess if its his painful lack of muscles or just from the way he’s staring sadly at Danny’s retreating back) because two gym junkies come up to him pretty much right away.

“Hey there,” the blonder of the two starts, “Need a hand?”

“Probably,” Stiles admits sheepishly. “Am I really that painfully obvious about it though?”

“Oh no,” he assures, “This is just a great excuse to come talk to you. I’m Chris by the way and this is my friend Eliot. So are you here with your boyfriend or…?”

“Oh! Hey of course,” Clicking on straight away Stiles instantly turns into wingman-mode, “I’m Stiles and the gorgeous hunk heading our way is my gay friend Danny.”

 

***

 

As they’re walking towards the locker rooms after _finally_ getting away from the awkward small talk Chris and Elliot had tried to start, Danny is hit with a sudden thought, “Hey Stiles,” he asks, “When you were always asking me if you were attractive to gay guys, was that a legitimate question?”

“Dude, of _course_ it was,” Stiles moans, “I apparently appeal to a very a niche market; drunk people and Derek, and I wasn’t around drunk people ‘til _after_ I’d met Derek.”

“Well if you _want_ ,” a dry voice offers from behind them, “I can leave you alone for the drunk people.”

“Derek!” Stiles exclaims, “Never; you are _mine_! If you’ve hit your head hard enough to want me I’m keeping you.”

“Babe, no one needs to hit their head to want you,” Derek replies rolling his eyes (and honestly for Derek that was actually kinda sweet). Grabbing Stiles he slings him over one shoulder as he heads before Danny into the locker room easily sniffing out Stiles’ duffel. Derek nods politely to Danny as he turns to leave, drowning out Stiles’ complaints over his smell growling simply that he likes it, which stops Stiles for about a second with a sweet smile on his face before he remembers to wave goodbye to Danny as he continues to chatters on, this time about what to make for dinner.

Danny has officially been spending too much time around werewolves because that right there looks ridiculously sweet and like something he wants.

 

***

 

Amber watches sadly as Stiles is carted through the door by the tall, dark and handsome stranger that swept into the gym and Stiles off his feet.

As he passes the window Stiles smiles and waves happily from his perch over the man’s shoulder with his elbow dug into his shoulder blade to keep him propped up enough to avoid all of his blood pouring to his head.

Something tells her this isn’t the first time he’s been carried off.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes Erica is alive because I love her and I genuinely think after everything had calmed down her and Stiles would have been bros (even if she is a growly cockblock at the gym)
> 
> Also S/O to Pantyology for getting this idea in my head - it's been floating around for a week and I just had to get this out.
> 
> I'm thinking next the beach or clothes shopping but y'all have the best ideas so keep hitting me up.
> 
> I'm loving all the ideas and feedback :)


End file.
